On Saturday 10th March 2012 with bags packed I jumped on a plane to Bangkok from Heathrow.
Upon arrival I jumped straight in a taxi and headed to Buddy Lodge (Wish the taxi’s back home were just as cheap). Buddy Lodge provided me with a place to rest my head and a shower. Jeez, I was excited about that shower. accommodation was clean, rooms secure but a tad overpriced. It’s location was fantastic, right on Khoa San Road.
I only had one evening to explore and was due to catch a 2pm flight the next afternoon. however after chatting to Livvy I discovered the last ferry to Phi Phi would leave before I arrived in Krabi. With that in mind, a plan was formulated; turn up at the airport at 4am the next morning and beg them to change my flight.
As a result I wouldn’t get a chance to explore the culture of Bangkok, this one night had to be a good one, Khao San Road is chaos! You have market street vendors jostling with tourists and selling a vast selection of wares. The street market is absolutely fantastic, I had a delicious Pad Thai from the smiliest woman I have ever met, the mouth is watering at the thought now.
After wandering up the street for 40 mins I took one of the tuk tuk drivers up on his offer of a sex show, a rather strange conversation, you don’t often get a man shouting “SEX SEX” at you in the middle of a street. I had been messaging LIvvy whilst walking up and down Khoa San Road debating the merits of going to one, the conversation went as follows:
Me: “Would it be weird to go and see a ping pong show on my own?”
Livvy: “No, F**king GO!!
Me: “Right, decision made. I am on way in tuk tuk, like some weird English creep”
Sitting on the back of a tuk tuk with the wind blowing straight through you, I just kept thinking how alive I felt. No concerns, no inhibitions it was such a freeing feeling. Once I arrived, I handed over my 600 baht and went to see what Bangkok is renowned for – the infamous Ping Pong show.
Picture the scene… a grimy, small, darkly lit room, cramped with a collection of inquisitive backpackers, sex tourists and local Thai men. Shania Twain was blasting out of the speakers and there was a small dance floor at the far end. The focal point of the room, surrounded by chairs facing inwards was a square raised stage. On each corner there was a pole and in the middle a couple was having sex – I had caught the end of the show, the climax point as such.
I headed to the bar, collected my beer with my entry token and latched onto a group of 3 English lassies, I was ready to watch the show.
It began with the ping pong balls.
A jug was placed at one end and the lady on stage began shooting ping pong balls into it. I think you can guess where she was shooting them from?!
What followed was an eclectic mix of vagina tricks and for each new trick, a new girl would take the stage.
Long pieces of fabric were pulled out of nether regions and wrapped around poles
Whoosh … candles were blown out
Pop … Flying darts flew at balloons
How on earth do they manage to do this? Is there a warm up technique for muscles? Stretching?
Colour was changed in water bottles (a nifty use of food colourants)?
Whistles were blown
Culminating in the grand finale…. The sex show
It is not a sexual experience but fascinating to watch. I have yet to meet a man before who could spin upside down with legs splayed on two poles supporting the entire weight of a woman. This is sex tourism and was my first introduction to it.
The ladies participating did look melancholy whilst on stage, before each act they performed an awkward 30 second dance, slow gyrations of the hips and they looked most uncomfortable whilst doing so. Sex tourism is renowned in Thailand, ironic considering it is apparently illegal to own a vibrator. Thailand has a rife sex trade and there is plenty that can be said about the trade and the tragic lives of the woman involved, but the serious thoughts can occur at a later stage.
After the show ended I jumped back in the tuk tuk to head back to Khao San Road. The driver, Jim, decided to get into a hair-raising race with another driver on the return trip. Thai drivers tend to have no regard for road laws anyway. Speed limits don’t exist, nor does lane changing etiquette apply. In a taxi, it is gut wrenching, in a tuk tuk racing through busy streets it is terrifying, hilarious but terrifying.
I headed straight back to the hotel on once I had safely arrived on Khao San Road as I had to be up in 3 hours. Another shower later, bliss, I settled down to sleep. However I was wide awake at 2.30am, the wonders of jet lag. I checked out, caught a taxi back to the airport, on wards to the next destination. It was a pity I didn’t get to spend more time in Bangkok, the city seems so alive, it is infectious.
